I guess countdown begins… now?

less than 20 days in Barcelona and suddenly a very long to-do list

Today I woke up feeling heavier than I thought I would. Yesterday I found out that I have less than 20 days in Barcelona. The day before, I was thinking I was going to spend the summer here.

Everything was finally in place. I found an apartment that I could call home for the rest of my stay, signed up for ClassPass, even had my favorite grocery store (Mercadona, obviously). So waking up and instantly realizing all that had just found its place became a mess again didn’t feel nice.

I soon realized staying in bed wouldn’t make the time stop. The countdown had already started, whether I liked it or not. So I got up and started tackling my to-do list one by one.

I had a pre-scheduled yoga class at noon. I went in there hoping movement would feel better. Mistake. During down dog, I was in my head writing my message to my mentor here, letting him know that I have to leave. Savasana was well spent too, trying to figure out how I’m going to let my landlord know I’m leaving. So, note to self: if I’m trying to outrun my thoughts, maybe - just maybe pick a sport that is more high tempo.

After the yoga class I tried visiting a few stores. I found a very cute beach skirt that I most likely won’t be wearing in Playa de Bogatell this summer. While I was in the store I was distracted. Retail therapy offered a temporary, maybe even momentary, relief. I was back to reality the moment I stepped back out on the street.

I simply felt like staring at a wall for 3 to 5 business days.

Instead, I suddenly had a full-time job: leaving.

Consult a lawyer. Inform each necessary party that I have to leave. Change the plane ticket. Figure out what to do with the apartment.

I think it is just not fair that being an adult means simultaneously grieving and taking action. There is no one who can handle these things for me. The emails still need to be sent. The conversations still need to happen. The decisions still need to be made.

And apparently, they need to be made by me.